Evacuate
by Rhasa aka Sarah
Summary: Forced to evacuate the White House, Josh can't escape the feeling that he's left something behind.
1. Default Chapter

For a brief moment time seemed to slow down. Josh was aware of  
the shouts, the barked orders of the Secret Service Men, the urgent tones   
in the voices of the marines that stood heavily armed on the lawn surrounding  
them; he felt the whir and the breeze caused by the  
rotors of the marine helicopter he was about to board. He  
saw Sam Seaborne waving his arm urging him to move faster,  
to board so they could lift off. But he couldn't move. It was as if his feet  
weigh a tonne and no matter how much he willed them to  
take him forward he was rooted to the spot.  
  
Josh felt something was not right.  
  
Which was a feeling that was in no way an understatement.  
The evacuation of the White House had taken little less  
than 8 minutes. Evacuating the President, the First Lady  
and Leo has taken closer to 2 minutes. No doubt they were  
safely far away from the White House.   
  
As he looked up he saw the silhouttes of CJ and Toby in   
the chopper along with Sam's worried face. He was shouting  
to Josh. At first Josh couldn't make out the words.  
A steady pounding in his ears made hearing difficult.  
But as he continued to pause he managed to concentrate enough  
on Sam's face to read his lips.  
  
"Josh! Come on! We've got to go!"  
  
Josh remained where he was. Something was not right.  
  
"NOW, Josh! We're lifting off."  
  
Sam now had his arm out stretched to Josh, his body and shouts  
were pleading with his friend.  
  
The desperation in Sam's voice shook Josh from his  
stupor. He fumbled forward and reached the doors of the  
helicopter. Once there, he saw the fear in the faces of his co-workers.  
  
Something was not right.  
  
As he hesistantly placed one foot onto the helicopter he   
glanced over his shoulder and froze.  
  
"Josh?" Sam questioned.  
  
"Donna." Josh replied absently. "I've got to go back."  
  
"We can't wait, Josh." Toby urged him.  
"Donna is with the other staff."  
  
"No. I've got to go back for Donna. They're not being airlifted."  
  
"They'll be taken care of." Toby said but his tone wasn't  
convincing.  
  
Josh looked towards CJ. Her face shared the look of Sam and  
Toby's. It was one of guilt.  
  
"Josh get on board." Sam pleaded again.  
  
"We HAVE to take off NOW Mr Lyman!" The pilot announced sharply.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The engines emitted a higher pitch than before as the marines pushed buttons  
and adjusted headsets.  
  
"You go on. I'll get out with Donna. With the rest of them-" Josh started.  
  
"No-" Sam yelled.  
  
"Go. GO!" Josh shouted before he threw his body out of the cabin   
and began his sprint back across the lawn.  
  
Grit, grass and gravel flew around him as he moved towards  
the doors to the whitehouse. He barely noticed the sting  
they caused against his cheek.  
  
It took his less than a minute to negotiate a path through  
the swarms of people that were bursting out of the doors and   
corridors. His head was up and eyes were sharp, looking  
for any glimpse of long blonde hair amongst the hordes, but  
somehow he knew where'd she'd be. He was certain that Donna  
would be one of the last to leave, she would do her job-her  
low paying, take over her entire life kind of job that she loved to  
death despite how much she griped about it- to the last  
possible moment.  
  
A last sprint sent Josh crashing through the doors to the  
now near deserted bullpen. His eyes took on a look of desperation as he   
searched for his assistant. She wasn't at her desk. Rounding the corner  
to his office he found that empty as well.   
  
Josh spun on his heel at the same time as he ran a hand through his hair in  
sheer desperation. Perhaps I was wrong and she had left already, he thought.  
  
Just as he was doubting himself, he saw her as she flashed past  
the end of the corridor near CJ's office.  
  
"DONNA!" he yelled after her while racing down the empty hall way.  
  
"Josh?" She replied somewhat confused. "You're not out yet? You should  
go. They'll leave without you. Go Josh! GO!" She urged him back towards  
the way he came with a shove.  
  
"They've already left without me."  
  
"You missed the helicopter?" She said with an incredulous tone. "Josh-"  
  
"No I told them to go without me. I wanted to make sure you were okay.   
I had to-"  
  
"You came back for me?"  
  
"Yeah I came back for you," he said with a small smile.   
Then without waiting for a response he  
grabbed her by the arm and lead her down the hallway."What are you   
still doing here? You should have left like five minutes ago."  
  
Walking as quickly as she could, trying to keep up, Donna merely shrugged  
her shoulders. "Anna is new. I wanted to make sure she knew where to go.  
I wanted to make sure she got out. Josh-" she began but whatever she was going to say  
was drowned out by the  
shouts of what appeared to be the last secret service agent  
directing people to the doors and to evacuate the Whitehouse.  
  
Caught up in the bustle, Josh and Donna scurried with the last of the  
stragglers. It may have been chaos but at least it was organised chaos.  
The crowd was moving quickly towards the gates to join the carcophony  
of emergency personnel that lined the streets of D.C.  
  
"Where are we going?" Donna asked Josh, not really caring in the slightest that he  
had tightened his grip on her arm once they reached the outer gates.  
  
"I had hoped to get us to my car," he said glancing back over his shoulder.  
"But I guess that's out of the question."  
  
He pulled her to one side and headed off to join the main throngs of the  
D.C. working populace. Surprisingly enough Josh felt less afraid   
now that he was with Donna then he had when he was about to board the  
relative safety of a marine helicopter.  
  
For her part, Donna was secretly glad that Josh was here to take charge. But that  
didn't dissuade the guilt she felt that he had given up his one chance of being   
safe to make sure she was okay.  
  
Josh didn't really have a chance to work out a plan of where he would take  
Donna. moments after leaving the White House he first heard and then saw  
fighter jets screeching across the pale blue spring sky. Mere seconds after  
silently praising what he thought to be the cavalry, he heard the first explosions.  
  
Initially both he and Donna merely flinched as the slight tremor that accompanied  
the incredible roar shook the pavement beneath them. They had known that  
this was coming but it didn't make it any easy to be prepared.  
  
A series of blasts sounded behind them which were then followed by the  
sound of return gun fire no doubt by forces atop the whitehouse itself.  
The smell of smoke and the shouting were secondary to the surrounding battle.  
  
The streets began filling with smoke. With panic now setting in it was  
clear that most people began fleeing the sounds of explosion after explosion  
any way they could rather than following designated evacuation routes.  
  
Perhaps a minute or two had passed since the first explosion before a blast  
occured extremely close to Josh and Donna. Donna heard the missle incoming  
and had stopped in her tracks only seconds before it hit. In all honesty, neither Josh or   
Donna could have been sure exactly how far off it had hit. But the blast  
was close enough and powerful enough to knock them both off their feet and  
rain debris onto them. Donna instinctively covered he head with her arms when she  
hit the pavement. For a moment, in the darkness that engulfed her as conrete and dust  
filled the air and her lungs, she panicked realising that she no longer could  
feel Josh beside her.  
  
"Josh!" she called. But no answer came. "JOSH!"  
  
"Yeah," he gasped and then coughed. A few seconds later she could make out   
his grey form just five feet away.  
  
"Are you alright?" She asked but her last word was drowned out by a second  
nearby blast.  
  
Donna's ears began to hurt. But that didn't matter once she felt herself being  
hauled onto her feet again. She closed her eyes as much as she could and   
allowed herself to be led along the street once again. It was difficult to  
find her bearings and the only way she knew that Josh was the one holding   
and guiding her was that she recognised approximately one inch of the tie  
he had been wearing this morning, that small patch the only section left  
unmarked by dust and dirt.  
  
"We have to take cover somewhere." Josh screamed at her. His arms were around  
her shoulders now partly shielding her back. He was careful where he put his feet least he bring Donna down with him if he fell.  
  
"Where are we?" Donna asked.  
  
"I have no idea. I don't even know if we are going in the same direction   
anymore. Can you see any landmarks?"  
  
Looking up at her surroundings for the first time since she was knocked  
over Donna squinted in all directions. It was hopless. The blasts had stirred  
clouds of dust high in the sky and it would be some time still before the cloud  
that now all but blinded them would settle.  
  
"No. I can't see much of anything. What are we going to do?"  
  
Before Josh could answer they were knocked over once again, but this time it was not  
from a blast. A murmur of apologies came from a large African American man as  
he stumbled to his feet. He had crashed into them in the panic and darkness.  
  
Helping Donna up again, Josh announced, " Come on I have an idea."  
  
Less than four feet away there was a sewer grate. Without hesitation Josh tore   
off the cover right as another round of explosions rocked the area. "Get in. Go," he   
urged Donna.  
  
Donna managed to see the first rung of what she hoped was a ladder. Trusting  
Josh she quickly and without pause climbed into the sewer, pleased for the relief  
the dust free air gave to both her eyes and lungs. She waited below as Josh climbed  
in after her and glanced around the darkness.  
  
Josh's haste had meant that he had left the grate off which was fortunate in that   
it left some light in to illuminate what would otherwise be a very dark tunnel.  
  
Yet another explosion caused Josh to slip on the very last rung and though there  
was little chance that he would have hurt himself being so close to the bottom  
Donna found herself reaching an arm out to steady him. He swung around and grabbed her  
hand.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah," she said while noddding. "I think so. You?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So what now?" she asked.  
  
"Let's just take a breather for a minute and then we will come up with a plan."  
  
"Okay."  
  
*****************  
  
Josh wasn't sure exactly how long they had been beneathe ground. He sighed heavily  
and then coughed. Light streamed down into the darkened tunnel they were now in  
through the open grate which was some fifteen feet away. Rays of sunshine   
highlighted the particles of dirt and concrete that they had sucked in   
when they were above ground. For the first time since this whole nightmare began  
Josh noticed just how sore and tired his body was. Apart from hitting the ground  
hard when he had fallen to the pavement, he had a week's extreme tension and  
fatigue taking their toll on his forty-something year old body. He shifted position  
slightly, trying to increase his comfort any way that he could.  
  
Donna stirred a little from the light sleep she found herself momentarily  
enjoying as she rested her head against Josh's shoulder. She sat upright  
once she realised that Josh was trying to get more comfortable. They had been  
down here for a while and although it was a sort of refuge it lacked all  
comforts. The bricks they sat on were cold, hard and unforgiving. The only  
softness Donna had found down here had been against Josh's shoulder and in his  
eyes.  
  
"Hey," she whispered.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"The bombing has stopped."  
  
"Yeah. Only for about ten minutes though."  
  
"What do you think is happening?"  
  
"I don't know, Donna. I don't know."  
  
Donna shivered.  
  
Noticing, Josh drew her closer to him. "Cold?"  
  
"Not so much cold as afraid," she admitted.  
  
Josh said nothing for there was nothing really to say.  
  
"Do you think the President got away safely?" She asked in a concerned  
tone.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And Toby, CJ, Sam?"  
  
"I saw their helicopter take off. They're fine."  
  
"You could have been fine too, if you hadn't have come back for me."  
  
"I am fine, Donna."  
  
They let his statement hang there for a moment.  
  
"I don't understand, Josh. You could've got out. You could've been safe. You  
didn't need to come back for me. You're an important man. They'll need  
you and you won't be there. You should be with the rest of the senior staff."  
  
"I'm a what? An important man?" He said in an amused voice.  
  
"I'm serious, Josh. You shouldn't be here with me. you should be with the  
rest of the senior staff. You should be with the President."  
  
"The President has lots of important people, Donna. He probably won't even  
miss me."  
  
"Josh-"  
  
"Look, I couldn't go. Not until I was sure that you were alright."  
  
"I would've been fine."  
  
"Maybe. But then again who knows which gomer you would've found yourself curled  
up with down a sewer if I hadn't come along and rescued you."  
  
"You DID not rescue me."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But a guy can dream can't he?"  
  
Donna smiled at his joke not really knowing if he would see it or not.  
  
Josh thought for a few moments. There was something he kind of wanted to  
get off his chest, something that had been bugging him since the first weeks  
President Bartlett had taken office.  
  
"I was prepared for this you know."  
  
"How could you have been? Our intelligence only confirmed-"  
  
"No, not the attack. I was prepared for not being evacuated."  
  
"I don't understand," she admitted but something in his tone, the way he  
was talking to her just now let her know that he desperately wanted her to   
understand what he was saying to her.  
  
"When the presidency began - Bartlet's presidency - they came to me. They   
offered me a- a pass. It was a card that told me what to do in case of  
an nuclear attack. Where to go. What protocol would be followed. How  
evacuation would take place that kind of thing. I turned them down."  
  
"You turned them down?"  
  
"Yeah. I told them I didn't want the card - the pass. I didn't want to go.  
I couldn't go. I couldn't face being one of the selected few. Not if it  
meant that I would willing and knowingly leave behind friends and family.  
I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be safe if my friends weren't."  
  
"But the country needs you, Josh."  
  
"Oh how I've dreamnt of hearing a women say those very words," he chuckled.  
  
"Josh-"  
  
"The country wouldn't need me in a situation like that. It would be all  
NSC and Defence."  
  
"Well, no, probably not during an attack. But afterwards, when we'd be recovering  
rebuilding whatever, then they'd need you."  
  
"'Doesn't matter, Donna. I couldn't leave my friends behind, my family.   
I couldn't leave you."  
  
His words hung there for a moment. Donna felt her throat tighten, swallowed  
and then hugged him.  
  
"I'm glad you didn't leave me, Josh."  
  
Josh smiled secretly to himself. Her words made him feel like he had made the  
right decision to come back. He absently brought his hand up to stroke her  
hair, but stopped when he heard another round of bombing start up.  
  
"Oh no," Donna whispered.  
  
Josh noticed her cringe just a little bit. Suddenly he was extremely tired.  
  
"Just rest, Donna. You need to rest. We need to rest. It'll be okay. We'll  
stay here for a little while longer."  
  
  
  
***************  
  
"Where should we go?"  
  
"I've been thinking about that," he sighed.  
  
"Camp David?"  
  
"No. It's too far. We'd be lucky to make it. Besides we wouldn't be allowed  
in."  
  
"What do you mean we wouldn't be allowed in. You're the Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh."  
  
"It wouldn't matter if I was the First Lady herself. Camp David will be in lock   
down mode. No admittance. No exceptions. The Secret Service would probably  
shoot me on sight. That's just the way it is. It has to be, to keep the  
President safe at all costs."  
  
She was silent for a few moments. "What about home? My place - or your place-   
somewhere familiar."  
  
"I don't know, Donna. It's not safe out there."  
  
"Well we can't stay here forever. I can't stay here forever, Josh. We'll   
need supplies, food, water, a blanket, it's freezing down here. We could  
go home and pick up a few things and take it from there. Who knows? It might  
all be over by the time we get there."  
  
"Yeah. It might be." He was less than enthusiastic.  
  
"Yeah well do you have a better idea?"  
  
"No. No, I mean it's a start. A plan. It's a plan and we needed a plan.   
We'll make our way to my apartment. It's closer. That okay?"  
  
"Yeah." she smiled. "Josh?"she whispered to him as he made an attempt   
to stand on legs that were suffering a bad case of pins and needles.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm scared."  
  
He pulled her up to him. "Me too, Donna. Me too."  
  
**************  
  
The streets had been eerily quiet for around twenty minutes when Donna and   
Josh emerged from their underground haven. It took a full minute before  
their eyes became comfortable to the daylight that illuminated the chaos  
before them. Washington was hardly recognisable. There was debris everywhere.  
Strangely enough the streets seemed deserted. There were no other people   
runnng or walking amongst the ruins. There was none of the emergency or military  
personnel Josh had expected to see to be found anywhere near their location.  
Where had all the people gone?  
  
It took Joch a few minutes to get his bearings and to decide on which route  
would be the best to get them to his apartment in the shortest amount of time.  
It took him another few minutes to quell the panic that rose within him when he   
began to wonder if his apartment was still intact and undamaged from the  
barrage of bombs that had taken their toll on the Capitol.  
  
It was difficult negotiating the piles of concrete and steel that littered the  
streets. Everywhere they stepped there were splinters of wood or bricks or   
tile, paper, cardboard, evern office furniture lay in their path. But what was even  
more unsettling was the quiet. It was deadly quiet. Not a car or a bird or  
anything discernible could be heard. The only sound for many minutes  
seemed to be the crunch of their own shoes against the remnants of buildings  
and trees beneath their feet.  
  
That was until Donna heard a small voice.  
  
She stopped in her tracks, and cocked her head. At first Josh feared she could  
hear approaching aircraft and that another bombing was imminent. When she  
abruptly held her hand out and ordered him to "SHHH" he saw that her face was  
not full of fear but held the signs of intense concentration.  
  
"Do you hear that?" she asked in a hushed voice.  
  
"Hear what, Donna?"  
  
"A voice. I thought I heard a voice."  
  
"Come on, Donna. We have to keep moving."  
  
She allowed herself to be gently pulled along for a few more feet before she  
froze again.  
  
"There it is again, Josh."  
  
"Donna-" he began but this time he stopped when he too heard the cry.  
  
"Over here," Donna said as she rushed towards the sound and before Josh could  
do anything to stop her.  
  
"We're here! We're coming! Just call out again so we can find you!" Donna's  
voice held a tone of urgency.  
  
Josh wasn't far behind her when he saw her bend down and lift a large slab  
of gyprock aside. At first he couldn't see much beyond the dust, but as  
he looked closely he could see a red sleeve that undoubtedly belonged  
to the person who had been calling out.  
  
"Help me, Josh!" Donna turned towards him and yelled.  
  
Josh knelt beside her and began to clear away as much debris as he could.  
Not really paying attention to the broken body that lay gasping before him.  
  
When enough had been cleared to reveal a woman Josh stopped.  
He was panting when he looked up at Donna. She had taken hold of the woman's  
hand and was talking a mile a minute.  
  
"... be okay. You're going to be okay. We're here. We found you. Are you hurt?"  
  
Hurt.  
  
She was hurt. This woman was hurt. For the first time Josh could see that.  
The red sleeve wasn't supposed to be red. She was covered in blood. Lots  
of blood. Too much blood. And if anyone knew how much blood was too much, it  
was Josh. He had lost a fair amount of it himself when he was shot, but  
not nearly as much as this.  
  
Josh nudged Donna to the side. He could see that the woman held her other  
arm across her stomach. Gently lifting it he revealed a large abdominal  
wound.   
  
"Oh my god." Whispered Donna.  
  
Josh took off his jacket and folded it. once again lifting the woman's arm he  
pressed it to her torso. She cried out in pain.  
  
"Josh, don't hurt her."  
  
"I'm trying to help, Donna. She's lost a lot of blood."  
  
The woman groaned an spluttered and spittle mixed with blood dribbled from  
her mouth.  
  
"We have to get her to a hospital, Josh."  
  
He looked into Donna's pleading eyes already knowing a truth Donna could not  
yet bring herself to acknowledge. As if sensing her hope, he turned to   
search the streets. There was no one else around to help. He wondered just how  
many others lay buried benathe the ruins, dying.  
  
"We can't do anything, Donna. We have to go," he said as he began to stand.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"There's nothing-"  
  
"Josh she needs us."  
  
Feeling as bad as he possibly could he pulled Donna away from the woman   
before them.  
  
"Donna, we can't move her. Those are her intestines and her liver and god knows  
what else lying there. She's bleeding to death. She's already lost too much  
blood. We can't do anything for her."  
  
"Oh yes we can."  
  
"Donna, listen to me. It's too late for her. There's nothing we can do to save   
her. But as bad as it sounds we have a chance of saving ourselves by making  
sure we're out of here before the planes come back."  
  
"No," she shook her head.  
  
"There's nothing we can do." His voice rose.  
  
"Yes there is."  
  
"Donna-"  
  
"No Josh, we're not going to leave her."  
  
"You're not listening to me-"  
  
"I am. I heard you. We can't save her. But I am not going to let her  
die alone."  
  
"Donna-"  
  
"It won't be long, right?" She sked in a calmish tone, a small tremor in her  
voice reflecting the fear she was feeling.  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"Well then. I am going to stay and hold her hand and be with her. I am going  
to make sure she has a human connection when she leaves this world. I will  
not leave her, Josh. She could be somebody's mother, somebody's wife. She's somebody's  
daughter. And she's a fellow American. I will not let her die alone.  
I will not leave her."  
  
Donna stood before him both defiant and determined. Her eyes moist with tears.  
For all the craziness Donatella Moss had brought to his life, for all the  
frustration and exasperation she had caused him at times, Josh had never  
before felt as proud of his small fireball non-college educated assistant than  
he did right at that moment.  
  
As much as he wanted to flee their current location he knew that she would  
never agree to his reasons for not staying with this woman. He was beat.  
  
Looking once again at the battered woman that lay before them he turned  
to Donna and placed a steadied hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Let's try and make her as comfortable as we can."  
  
A tear slid from the corner of Donna's eye. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank  
you, Josh..."  
  
  
*****************  
  
  
Josh stood and took a few steps back as he watched Donna gently lower the   
eyelids of the woman they had come to know as Marjorie, who had left this  
world only moments before. Donna bowed her head, no doubt in silent prayer,  
and the heaviness that descended on Josh's heart made it hard for him to  
breath. He looked at his watch and immediately felt guilty for doing so.  
They had only spent twenty minutes with Marjorie. In that small amount  
of time they had shared a part of her life and her death. They knew so little  
about this woman and yet he also knew that she would be forever remembered  
by them.  
  
JOsh stepped back as Donna stood slowly. He could tell without even looking  
at her that she was shedding tears. Knowing Donna as well as he did, Josh  
was not surprised at the level of emotions she sometimes felt for total  
strangers. He stood and turned his back to her to allow her some privacy  
for a moment, if he was honest with himself he would have admitted that  
he was really trying to avoid seeing Donna so emotional, knowing  
that to see her cry would bring him undone as well.  
  
When Josh turned back he was surprised to find Donna bending over and rifling  
through Marjorie's purse.  
  
"Donna? What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm looking for her wallet."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm going to need it to track down her family."  
  
"Okay," Josh said softly.  
  
Donna took the wallet she had found in the nearby handbag and shoved it into  
her pocket.  
  
It was then that they heard the steady whine of approaching aircraft.  
  
"Come on," Josh said forcefully. "We gotta go, now."  
  
She didn't argue. She allowed him to lead her away from Marjorie, but continued  
to look back at the person and the lost life she had left behind.  
  
  
The End 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine, I still have empty pockets but my clothes are now full of smoke.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Sam Seaborne was exhausted, possibly more exhausted than he had ever been.  
  
He ran his hand through his hair, spiking it in multiple directions and sighed a heavy sigh through clenched teeth. Still not comfortable he rolled his head trying desperately to get rid of some of the cricks that had settled there in the last few hours. Nothing he did seemed to improve the pounding in his head. His stomach was churning and his body ached. But no matter what relief he sought for his body he knew relief was not forthcoming for his soul, because he had done a bad thing, an unforgivable thing.  
  
He had left his best friend behind.  
  
Taking a swig from a water bottle an anonymous staffer had handed him only minutes before, the young Deputy Communications Director fought earnestly to swallow the cool liquid around the large lump that had recently formed in his throat. Pushing himself out of the chair that he had been slumped in for the past twenty minutes or so he began to pace back and forth, hoping that his exhaustion would soon overtake him if only to give his mind a few minutes of respite from the emotions that were currently overwhelming him.  
  
A part of him still couldn't believe that Josh had done what he had done. Another part of him wasn't surprised at Josh's rash actions. And yet another part of him hated himself for not doing the same thing.  
  
Josh had gone back for Donna. He had specifically said that he was going back for Donna. Sam hated himself for not even considering the idea of going back for Bonnie or Ginger, Kathy or one of the other assistants. He had taken the Secret Service Agents at their word that the rest of the staffers would be taken care of, as he was hustled and bustled through the corridors to the White House lawn where the marine helicopters were already waiting. In his defence Sam had had little time to think about just what exactly was going on. He hadn't had time to really process it all. He was literally grabbed from the bullpen, told they were under attack and that he had to go "NOW!!". He still held the cup of coffee that he had been holding at the time in his hand as he reached the lawn before throwing it aside. He had reached the helicopter only thirty or twenty or so seconds before Josh appeared through the doors, and already he was eager to get going. But Josh had already made up his mind. He wasn't going with Sam. He was going back for Donna.  
  
That action spoke louder than words. Sam knew Josh had long since been in "De nile" about the way he felt about his assistant. If it wasn't love then it was a deep affectionate friendship that those two shared, the depth of which would make Josh sacrifice his safety and life for Donna. But despite his courage, his heroism and bravery, three words that mean the same thing, Sam damned Josh for making him worry. He might be dead. He could be dead. His best friend could be dead and all because he wouldn't get on the damned chopper.  
  
Pacing the room back and forth, back and forth, he couldn't escape the self recriminating mantra that preoccupied him.  
  
He should have insisted that Josh get on that chopper.  
  
He should have grabbed his arm and dragged him aboard.  
  
He should have made the Marine *order* him on board.  
  
He should have....  
  
Hell, he should have done something to get Josh out!  
  
"Damn it!!" Sam yelled and turned swiftly to punch the wall next to him.  
  
Toby Ziegler gave CJ Cregg a worried look.  
  
"That's gotta hurt, " Toby said.  
  
"You don't say," Sam grimaced as he cradled his hand close to his chest and looked back and forth between his two remaining friends.  
  
They looked only slightly less tired than Sam felt. CJ was uncharacteristically and unceremoniously sprawled out in a chair closest to the door. Her head thrown back, a arm draped across her eyes, she looked much older than her actual years. Never before, not even during the public admission of the President's MS had she looked so haggered and drawn. She tilted her arm to allow herself a peek at Sam, a worrying look sweeping the tired one from her face. Watching Sam's frenzied pacing she shot Toby a nervous look.  
  
A few seats down Toby hung forward on his seat. Chewing slightly, ever minute or so he would slowly reach into his suit jacket pocket and take a few unshelled peanuts out. A pile of shells sat next to him on another chair. He hadn't remembered where he got the nuts. Truth be told he didn't like peanuts all that much, but the activity of shelling them kept him busy and for now, sane.  
  
Shaking his hand slightly, Sam moaned in frustration and anger. Placing his hand protectively under his armpit, he once again paced the room, this time only slightly less than angrily than before.  
  
"We should have tried harder," Sam said in an accusatory tone.  
  
"Did you see the look on his face? Nothing was going to get him on that chopper," Toby sighed showing his level of exhaustion to be somewhat similar to Sam's.  
  
"It doesn't matter. We should've forced him."  
  
"He's a grown man, Sam, we can't force him to do anything," C.J tried..  
  
"We shouldn't have *left* him behind."  
  
"He *chose* to stay behind.," Toby's voice became more insistent.  
  
"And now he's DEAD!!!" Sam spat in his boss' face.  
  
Toby sat motionless, and after a few seconds stared down at his shoe and began shelling nuts again.  
  
"Sam, calm down," CJ rose to him and slipped an arm around his shoulder. She knew he was taking this hard, hell, they all were, but having him fall apart like this in what was fast turning into a case of survivor guilt was not going to help anyone. "We don't know anything for sure yet."  
  
"Intel-" he began but the words were strangled in his throat.  
  
"You heard Nancy, our intelligence reports confirmed bombing in the Capitol, but we don't know the extent. He... *they*," she corrected herself. "They may have already gotten out before that, there's a very good chance..." her voice trailed off. Her words didn't sound very convincing in her own ears let alone to the ears of others.  
  
"Yeah. well, maybe so. But what are we doing for them now?"  
  
"Leo should be ready to talk to us in a few minutes," she offered as hope. "We should know more then."  
  
"And until then?"  
  
"We hope and we pray," offered Toby.  
  
Sam looked over at the older man, and instantly hated himself for blowing up at him when seeing the pain in his eyes. He realised he didn't have a monopoly on grief or guilt in this case. They were all feeling the same thing. They had all failed their friend. They all felt unforgivable.  
  
"We hope and pray, huh.?" He reaffirmed, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.  
  
CJ, watching the two men and sensing some calm restoring to the room, nodded. "We hope and pray," she sighed while rubbing Sam's back gently. "And we get someone to look at that hand."  
  
Looking down after having momentarily forgotten the intense ache that had radiated from his fingers and wrist, Sam grimaced again.  
  
"Damn." He chuckled.  
  
"What?" CJ asked.  
  
"That's my writing hand," he sighed.  
  
**************************  
  
Donna looked up towards the sky and was immediately confused.  
  
"Josh. It's snowing."  
  
Josh turned his head in the direction of Donna's gaze and for the first time noticed small whitish grey flakes falling slowly, noiselessly and softly to the ground. He stopped walking and turned towards Donna. Lifting his hand he reached for the flakes that had fallen onto her hair and crumbled them between his fingers.  
  
"It's ash," he said.  
  
"Ash?"  
  
"Yeah, there must be fires somewhere."  
  
"But I don't feel hot or any heat."  
  
"And I can't see smoke because of the cloud," he added.  
  
"Maybe it's just debris still falling. There's a lot of paper in this town, Josh. Maybe it was burned in the initial blasts and is only now just coming down," she suggested.  
  
"Maybe," Josh said hesitantly. "Come on, we have to keep going."  
  
Josh pulled her along the street once again., trying hard not to look up too much from his feet. He couldn't take it. The utter devastation that surrounded him was almost too much to bear. Apart from the collapsed buildings, the burnt out and crushed cars that lined the streets, the wreckage that lay everywhere around them, there were oddities that just added to the surreal scene they now found themselves in. Once proud tall and healthy trees were now reduced to match like poles stuck into the ground at odd angles. A whole oak desk had been found lying in the middle of the street, singed slightly and misshaped from seemingly falling from a great height, but still impressive. Street signs were melted and mangled into grotesque shapes. On one street where Josh and Donna used to buy bagels and fruit whips, the diner's window stood proudly declaring in shopfront window paint that this week was buy one get one free week. The colourful writing an utter contrast to the grey that covered and saturated everything else. For a brief moment Josh's eyes lit up at the sight of what he had thought to be a building that was still standing. But as they got closer his hopes sank as he could see that although the front window was intact it was the *only* part of the building that was.  
  
The further they moved away from the Whitehouse the more people they saw. Huddled grey masses moving surprisingly slowly in convey along the devastated streets of Washington. Faces smeared with blood, hair becoming increasingly caked in grey ash, clothes torn or scorched by flames, all moving slowly, calmly, silently away from the horror that surrounded them.  
  
It was too quiet for Josh's liking. He looked up briefly as he stepped over a mound of wreckage that blocked their path and instantly drew Donna closer to his side. A man stood before them off to the right a little. His head slightly bowed, his once navy blue Armani suit now a dirty grey, his left show missing. A streak of pale blue fell down the front of his shirt giving his once impeccable appearance a skunk-like look, his discarded tie now clutched tightly around his right hand that hung limply at his side and dripped steadily with blood. Josh made eye contact with the man and realised that the face that now bore two tear cleansed tracks down his cheeks was one that he knew.  
  
"Bill?" Josh asked in a quiet disbelieving voice stopping where he stood.  
  
Bill Heffernan just stood and stared, looking directly at Josh and Donna but not acknowledging them in any way.  
  
"Bill?" Josh tried again as he took a few steps towards him.  
  
Bill Heffernan's eyes were blank and Josh recognised the vacant stare as belonging to someone who is in deep shock.  
  
Donna sensing the man's obvious distress gently broke from Josh's side and close the gap between them, placing a hand on the man's arm.  
  
A sudden sharp intake of breath startled Josh as he stepped quickly to Donna's side once more. Unlike her boss, Donna was not afraid. Tears welling in her eyes, she gently whispered, "Are you all right?"  
  
Bill's dazed glaze seemed to vanish at her words. He looked down into the blonde's face and blinked heavily as tears began falling down his cheeks again. Quiet sobs quickly grew louder as his shoulders trembled then shook.  
  
Josh's own face began twitching at Bill's emotion. He reached up and put a hand on the older man's shoulder and began to mumble something soothing - he hoped.  
  
"It's going to be okay," Donna was saying over and over again.  
  
The man continued to sway slightly on his feet as he sobs began to diminish. After some time he seemed spent and he sighed heavily once more desperately trying to get himself under control. He wiped his hand across his face, drying some of the tears but only really succeeding in smearing the dirt, dust and blood across his face. He looked into the faces of the two people who stood before him and for the first time a look of recognition crossed his eyes.  
  
"Josh?"  
  
"Yeah," Josh said with a small sad smile.  
  
"Josh Lyman?"  
  
"Yeah Bill, it's me." Josh gave the man two big pats on the back, glad, that he had come somewhat back to himself.  
  
Bill sniffed loudly and quickly drew his eyes to the rest of the street, It was if he was seeing things for the first time and he shook his head and looked once more at Donna.  
  
"You're...?"  
  
"Donna, Donna Moss," she said.  
  
"Have you seen Ronnie?" he asked suddenly hopeful.  
  
Donna gave Josh a look, she didn't know who Ronnie was. A colleague?  
  
Josh equally confused just repeated the name. "Ronnie?"  
  
"Veronica. My wife. She's an assistant to Blake in the OEB."  
  
Josh shook and bowed his head.  
  
"I'm sorry, Bill. I don't know what Veronica looks like. I haven't met her."  
  
"She's tall, long blonde hair like you," he nodded towards Donna.  
  
"I'm sorry," Donna said, desperately wishing that she had seen someone matching his wife's description.  
  
"She has green eyes and she wore a red dress today, I was joking about it on the way in this morning, how she was a woman in red-"  
  
"I'm sorry, Bill," Josh was whispering again.  
  
"She wore her hair up today in a pony tail, said she wanted to get it out of her face. She had a gold necklace that was quite thick-"  
  
"I'm sorry Bill, we haven't seen her."  
  
"You couldn't miss her in a dress like that. She's tall, blonde and eight months pregnant."  
  
Donna wished she could have stopped the gasp she made when Bill Heffernan told her about his missing wife who was eight months pregnant.  
  
"Today was her last day. She was going out to lunch. Walking down the street she would have looked like a giant apple or strawberry coming towards you. I haven't seen anyone I know from the OEB come this way. Have you?"  
  
"No," Josh sad sadly.  
  
The three of them stood there together silently for more than a minute. Josh standing slightly behind Donna could see her shoulders twitching slightly and knew she was crying. He watched Bill as he looked at his feet, a look of confusion settling in after no doubt discovering that he had only one shoe on. Josh reached up and placed both hands on Donna's shoulders squeezing gently in what he hoped was a comforting and reassuring gesture.  
  
Donna, softly cleared her throat and turned to Bill again. "Come with us, we're leaving the city."  
  
"What?" Bill asked still confused.  
  
"Come with us."  
  
"No. I'm going back. I have to find Ronnie."  
  
"Bill, Donna's right. You should come with us. Ronnie is probably with the rest of the staff from the OEB. They're probably in an evacuation centre not far from here."  
  
"No. I'm going to go back there first. It's the first place I gotta look. She's eight months pregnant, as big as a house, she can't walk very far. She'll probably be waiting for me there. I told her I would pick her up from work-"  
  
"Bill."  
  
"She usually waits for me downstairs, parking's a bitch-"  
  
"Bill, come with us and we'll help you find her."  
  
"We've got reservations at Dosier's tonight. You know, go out as a couple once last time, before the baby comes."  
  
"Bill, you're hurt," Donna said reaching for his hand but also hoping to reach him inside as well. "You're bleeding," she whispered as she turned his hand over and moved the tie out of the way. The sticky blood spread over her fingers.  
  
"I cut it on a window. I crawled out of a window. I haven't done that since I was six years old."  
  
"Come with us, please," Donna's voice begged.  
  
"I can't, but thanks." he stepped away from them.  
  
"If you see Ronnie..." he began but faded.  
  
"Yeah," Josh said choked.  
  
Bill Heffernan turned and took some tentative steps in the opposite direction before Donna's voice called to him.  
  
"Wait." She went up to him and gave him an unexpected hug. "Good luck," she said. "Take care."  
  
Instead of thanking her, Bill smiled weakly, turned and walked on.  
  
Donna turned back towards Josh and fell into his arms. He knew what she was feeling. It was the same feeling of helplessness that had been washing over him since they first left the sewer. There was nothing they could do just yet to make it better, but there would be in the future. She cried silently as Josh held her close and rocked her back and forth. Stroking her hair he felt her body relax after a while. Donna pulled back wiped her eyes and looked at Josh. He smiled that sad smile again, kissed her forehead and turned them to continue down the street.  
  
They hadn't said a word. There wasn't much to left to say....  
  
  
  
End  
  
Thanks for the feedback for Evacuate 1. I never intended for this to be a series. I was initially intrigued by what Josh would do if he ever had to evacuate and leave Donna behind. Then the little "Marjorie" scene popped into my head and I kind of got stuck there for months on end. It just so happens that with the utter devastation that has hit Canberra where I live in the last week, has meant that the scene with Bill Heffernan is real. The lump that's constantly in Sam's throat is mine. Yesterday I toured my best friends' neighbourhood where too many died and where too many more came close to dying and I can't describe what I saw... the adjectives just won't come, like the tears do. It's weird when you walk into a mall and see people walking along, seemingly minding their own business, shopping by themselves, lost in the day to day things that we take for granted only to suddenly stop in an aisle or on an escalator. As many round them and silently curse them for being in the way, you suddenly notice the tears falling silently down their cheeks, the vacant stares in their eyes, their hitching breathes. And it almost has you undone as you desperately try, sometimes in vain, to pull it together.  
  
Now for all those who were concerned, my house still stands and a fire front is due again tomorrow, so we once again sit and wait to see if we are spared... and in a very weird way I can't help but think if we could have bottled all the tears that fell this week in Canberra, surely there'd be enough to douse any inferno that may rise up against us.  
  
Fingers crossed  
  
Rhasa 


	3. Chapter 3

Evacuate Chapter 3  
  
Author: Rhasa  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine- still  
  
  
  
  
  
Leo stormed into what was temporarily his make shift office. Unlike  
  
the rest of the senior staff, whose fatigued caused them to brace  
  
themselves against various items of furniture just so they could  
  
remain standing, Leo was full of energy or total anger - he couldn't  
  
decide which at the moment.  
  
He should have seen this coming.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
The experts, military and otherwise, had reassured both he and the  
  
President that there was no way anyone could have anticipated this  
  
unprecedented attack. No way - that's what they said; but that still  
  
didn't make him feel any less pissed.  
  
He was overwhelmingly pissed. And incredibly scared. More scared than  
  
he had been in his entire life. Looking at the three faces in front  
  
of him, he could see a similar fear and it tugged at his heart for a  
  
second or two, before he pulled himself back into professional  
  
working mode and began barking at his staff.  
  
"Okay, we've got five minutes together before I have to meet with  
  
the  
  
President, Nancy and the Joint chiefs again."  
  
"Josh isn't here," Sam said.  
  
"Well I can't afford to wait around for him. We'll start  
  
while you go  
  
get him Sam, a briefing is still a briefing."  
  
"No, Leo. I mean he's not *here*."  
  
"I can see that," the Chief of Staff said, already getting impatient  
  
and annoyed.  
  
"I mean `as with the rest of us', here in this facility," Sam  
  
sighed.  
  
Leo shot Toby a pleading look, one which undoubted said, `help me  
  
out  
  
here'.  
  
Toby bowed his head. "Josh did not get out."  
  
"He didn't get out?" Leo asked, his brow wrinkling at his  
  
confusion. "What do you mean? He's back in Washington?"  
  
"He went back," Sam said, hoping to once and for all clarify the  
  
situation but only ended up confusing Leo more.  
  
"He went back? When?"  
  
CJ sighed heavily. "No. When we were evacuated, Josh didn't get  
  
on  
  
the chopper. He went to, but then, at the last minute, he said he had  
  
to go back for Donna and returned to the Whitehouse as we took off."  
  
"Jesus Christ." Leo sat for a few seconds, the gears whirring in his  
  
head. "Have you checked to see if he got out on another chopper?"  
  
"We were the last chopper, Leo. There weren't any more choppers,"  
  
Toby mumbled.  
  
  
  
Leo went silent and still for a few moments. Flashes of confusion,  
  
then concern and finally anger seemed to streak across his face."Of  
  
all the crazy, stupid..." Leo began to mumble but one look at  
  
Sam's  
  
face told him this was not the time to vent his anger. He thought  
  
for a moment. "It's just so like him. So like Josh. He didn't  
  
arrive  
  
with the rest of the staffers in the convoy?"  
  
"No." said CJ. "Carol said that she didn't know where Donna was,  
  
or  
  
Josh for that matter. She thought they were in another car, but no  
  
one has seen them."  
  
Leo nodded silently taking in what the others were saying. Josh was  
  
lost. They had lost Josh and Donna. For all he knew they could be  
  
behind enemy lines and he felt completely and utterly helpless to do  
  
anything about it.  
  
"Alright, I'm going to get Nancy and anyone else I can grab on  
  
it."  
  
The old man stood up and griped the edge of his desk. To those that  
  
knew him that simple gesture revealed just how shaken he was about  
  
Josh and Donna's current predicament.  
  
"Leo? What's the word," Sam asked, as he shuffled his feet.  
  
"It's not good. All satellite communications are down. I tell you  
  
it's like the dark ages. We know the capital took direct fire for  
  
four hours beginning only seven minutes after we lifted off. So far  
  
we have received no word of ground forces approaching. Fighters are  
  
currently engaged in battle with enemy forces about 200 miles of the  
  
east coast. They've sustained heavy casualties and are  
  
desperately  
  
trying to hold them off from flying over the mainland again.  
  
That's  
  
all I know for now. We should know more soon."  
  
"Leo? Do you think... you know... they're okay? Do you think  
  
they're  
  
okay?"  
  
He could see the fear in Sam's eyes and sensed that he  
  
desperately  
  
needed some reassurance. There was something in the younger man's  
  
eyes that told him he was nearing the edge. He needed reassurance,  
  
even though Leo found it hard to give, he tried. "Sam, don't  
  
worry.  
  
This is Josh we're talking about. That guy has more lives than a  
  
cat.  
  
And there's no way he would allow anything to happen to Donna.  
  
I'm  
  
sure they're fine. I could still use him here though."  
  
"Yeah, so could I." Sam whispered.  
  
"What happened to your hand?" Leo asked.  
  
************  
  
Donnatella Moss was exhausted, extremely so, but despite that fact,  
  
she couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was because she wasn't used to  
  
sleeping with the lights on. Or the simple fact that for a really  
  
decent rest she needed her feather pillow. But most likely it was  
  
because the muted sobs that had kept her company for a few hours now,  
  
denied her any real chance of rest.  
  
They just didn't seem to stop. Someone was always crying. Tired  
  
and  
  
scared children, grieving adults, men or women, it really didn't  
  
make  
  
a difference, it just went on and on and on. Every time someone new  
  
would come in there'd be a fresh round of sobs, more tears to add  
  
to  
  
the dirt and dust stains on the pillows. Sobs and sniffs and coughs,  
  
whispers and sighs, a neverending cacophony of grief and despair and  
  
it was too much for Donna to take.  
  
A few rows down a woman had just turned in for the night. Donna had  
  
never met her but she instantly hated her. She waited, and listened.  
  
She knew the pattern by now. The soft rustling noises came first as  
  
the woman got into bed. The squeaks and creaks that were the result  
  
of the new occupant twisting and turning trying desperately to get  
  
comfortable and then the silence. Except, it wouldn't stay silent  
  
for  
  
long. Perhaps a minute or two later, the small sniffs would start.  
  
They could last from a minute up until five. This was perhaps the  
  
hardest time for Donna. She lay wide awake despite her weariness and  
  
chanted over and over, "Please don't start, please don't  
  
start,  
  
please don't start. Don't start, don't start, don't  
  
start, please, oh  
  
God."  
  
But either God wasn't listening or he thought otherwise, because  
  
they  
  
started. They always started. First, the soft sobs, then the hitching  
  
breathes, and finally the moans that seem to pierce Donna's  
  
skull  
  
again and again and again.  
  
Damn her. "Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup..."  
  
"Donna?" a soft voice whispered next to her.  
  
She hadn't thought she had been talking loud enough for him to  
  
hear.  
  
"Donna, are you okay?"  
  
She couldn't answer him.  
  
The women a few rows away mumbled something high pitched. It sounded  
  
like a name, John or Jack, or Jake or it could've been Joan. It  
  
was  
  
so strangled with emotion but Donna knew it was a name because so  
  
many Chris', and Franks and Jeans and Matts and Simons, Pauls,  
  
and  
  
Roberts had come before it. All in that same voice, that same stupid  
  
voice that wouldn't shut up.  
  
"Donna," Josh called again.  
  
"I just want it to stop Josh," she sighed.  
  
"I know," he said. His calm voice sounded odd in the darkness.  
  
"They just won't stop crying. All they do is cry. When one stops,  
  
another starts again."  
  
"I know."  
  
"The men too. They cry and cry and cry."  
  
"They have to. They need to, although they probably don't want  
  
to."  
  
"They won't shut up. I just want to go up to them and... and...  
  
and  
  
shake them or something and tell them to shut up!" she whispered  
  
loudly.  
  
"Hey..." he sighed in a soft voice just before Donna heard him move  
  
his cot closer to hers.  
  
His hand came out of the darkness and began to stroke her hair and  
  
cheek. Her jaw ached and she opened her mouth wide to release some of  
  
the tension that she hadn't realized was there.  
  
"I hate them, Josh."  
  
"No you don't."  
  
"I do. I really, really hate them. And I hate myself for hating them."  
  
"Ssssssssshhhhhhhh," he said as he continued to stroke her shoulders,  
  
her hair, her face.  
  
"I'm evil and selfish," she sniffed.  
  
"No," he whispered.  
  
"What kind of a person hates other people for crying?"  
  
"Someone who hasn't cried enough herself yet." It was at that  
  
moment  
  
that Josh's thumb stroked across Donna's eyelids. He drew  
  
them down  
  
her face and for the first time Donna felt the wetness of her own  
  
tears, the ones that had been there all along.  
  
"Oh god," she sobbed, her cries and her hitching breaths joining the  
  
song of the others in the room...  
  
Josh didn't know how long he held her. He pulled his cot over  
  
until  
  
it was flush with hers and silently cursed its wooden frame for not  
  
allowing him to pull her more fully into his arms. Her cries were not  
  
dissimilar to the hundreds of others that had filled the evacuation  
  
center, but they were felt more deeply by him than the others had  
  
been.  
  
This should never have happened. They should never have been here.  
  
None of these lost and broken people should have had to be here. What  
  
the hell had gone wrong?  
  
Josh knew there would be questions to be answered later.  
  
Unfortunately he was all too familiar with the grief process, his  
  
memories of the shooting still resurfaced in his nightmares from time  
  
to time. After a tragedy came shock and disbelief. Donna's  
  
behavior  
  
earlier had shown that she was well into that stage. He knew she  
  
wasn't as cold hearted as she had feared she was. It was just a  
  
reaction to the stress, the worry she was feeling. She hadn't  
  
been  
  
able to process everything she had seen in the last twenty fours  
  
hours. That would come much later. She, like so many others, was  
  
happy just to be alive, the enormity of the loss and the realization  
  
of just how lucky she was, was still to come.  
  
  
  
"I hate the not knowing," she whispered, sometime later, after Josh  
  
had held her through the worse part of it. "I don't know what  
  
happened to Bonnie or Ginger or Margaret."  
  
"Margaret went with Leo."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Yeah. She's okay."  
  
"We had so little time to prepare."  
  
"I know."  
  
"If we had more time..."  
  
"There's never enough time," he sighed.  
  
"Josh?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think they're safe? Bonnie, Ginger, Kathy, Carol, the  
  
rest of  
  
them?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. I honestly do."  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"Think about it, logically. You and I were the last to leave. The  
  
other's had a good five minutes at least on us. We left by foot.  
  
They  
  
left by car. Naturally they got further away from the blasts than we  
  
did."  
  
"But we don't know exactly what areas were hit."  
  
"It's an educated guess that the prime targets were the White  
  
House  
  
and Pentagon. They would have cleared those by the time the firing  
  
started."  
  
"Are you just saying that to make me feel better."  
  
"No."  
  
She was quiet for a while. Josh longed to know what she was thinking.  
  
He was already worried about her. He felt a small shiver run through  
  
her and moved to hitch her blanket up higher, tucking it under her  
  
chin as if she was five years old.  
  
"Josh?" her soft whisper broke through the darkness.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think Bill Heffernan's wife is dead?"  
  
"I don't know, Donna," he sighed and closed his eyes at the  
  
memory of  
  
Bill Heffernan and the despair that was etched on his face.  
  
"I can't imagine what he must be going through," she said.  
  
I can thought Josh. The loss that man must have felt while  
  
searching for his wife. The panic, the fear, the torment, the  
  
insufferable pain that would have settled in his chest. Josh could  
  
imagine those things - he had had a glimpse of those feelings during  
  
the short time it had taken him to turn back from the helicopter and  
  
go in search for Donna. He hoped, he prayed, that Bill's search would  
  
end in the same overwhelming sense of relief as his own had. Truth  
  
was, if he hadn't found Donna, Josh would most probably be standing  
  
lost, alone, and nearly broken in the middle of the deserted streets  
  
of Washington, just like Bill.  
  
"I'm so lucky," Donna's voice rose out of the darkness once more.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah. I've still got you," she whispered.  
  
"Yeah," he smiled. "You've still got me. Now, get some sleep."  
  
He pulled her further into his arms and stroked her hair. He  
  
didn't  
  
want to consider her questions - about the unknown fate of so many  
  
others that were in their minds. He knew the tally of those that  
  
didn't make it through this was going to be high, he just  
  
couldn't  
  
bring himself to wonder just how high. Leaning down slightly, he  
  
gently kissed the top of Donna's head. In no time she was finally  
  
asleep, leaving Josh wide awake in the unfamiliar surroundings.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Boy was this weak. Sorry guys it just didn't want to go where I  
  
wanted it to go. I often wonder if the writer is the master or the  
  
slave.  
  
To those of you who have been sending such wonderful support in light  
  
of the recent events in my town, thanks. I guess all your prayers  
  
must have worked. The fire front got within four kilometers yesterday  
  
and then a late change saved us. Today we are battling forty degree  
  
(Celsius) heat and 65km per hour winds. So far, so good. 


End file.
